That Was Awkward...part 2

In part 2 of this post my goal is to give you some tools to put in your toolshed so that when you find yourself near or immediately involved in a conversation that you have interest in and/or deeply care about you will be able to get involved instead of standing on the sideline or in the middle of the road frozen like a deer in headlights, if you are the center of attention in the conversation.

Remember that we are going to put ourselves in the shoes of the lady on the West Wing video. We are going to assume that we have some convictions about the subject at hand, in this case homosexuality, and that we have just been challenged in a way that we have no idea what to do. We are also going to assume that we have the ability to ask questions and that we care about what the other person has to say.

So, the first tool that I want to give you to put in your toolshed is "Reality". That's right, every toolbox needs a good measure of reality and they need to know exactly where it is in your toolshed. It is usually going to be hanging on the hook labeled Humility which is hung on the board known as shut your mouth and open your ears. What I mean by "Reality" is that you must have an accurate picture of what you know and don't know in your toolshed. The lady in this video thought she knew some things about the Bible and about homosexuality, but as soon as she was challenged by someone smarter than herself she quickly found out that she didn't have as firm a grasp on it as she thought. Now if you're like I use to be, and can still be sometimes, then your "Reality" tool isn't hung on the "Humility" hook and your first reaction to what happened to this lady isn't going to be thoughtful. This is a consequence of your Reality tool being hung on the Pride hook which isn't nailed in your toolshed but instead is nailed in THIS place where all ideas are thought up as quickly as possible and almost always stink!

So the first thing I want to tell you is to know yourself. If you thought you knew something, but now you know that you did so only on a surface level then don't try to pretend and be that guy from the last post. Take out your reality tool and say to yourself, "Ok, this guy just walked all over top of what I believe. He brought up some valid questions that I haven't thought of before and have no clue how to answer. If I'm going to have a conversation with this person about this subject that I care about then I am going to have to think of something other than my standard responses because he just blew them all up."

The second thing that I want to give you to put in your toolshed isn't a tool, but instead is a sign. This sign should be hanging above the doors on your toolshed and it reads, "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?" When you are engaging someone in a conversation and they are saying things like the POTUS in this video they are expressing ideas. If you can learn to identify the ideas then you will be able to take all of the pressure off of yourself and place it where it belongs, and that is on the person expressing the ideas.

For instance even though the POTUS said a lot of things in this short video you can break down everything he said into a handful of very managable ideas and here they are:

#1. If you watch the video from 0:54 through 1:29 you will find the POTUS asking the lady a series of questions about her PhD and casts a shadow on her expertise on the subject she talks about on her show, i.e. homosexuality in this case.  So what's the big idea here?  The big idea that the POTUS is pushing is that unless you have advanced degrees in the subject you are expressing an opinion on then your opinon is worthless.
The key to this idea is seeing that it does not deal with the substance, or lack thereof, of what the woman was saying and the arguments she was presenting on her talk show.  Her ideas may be terrible, but it is not attacking the validity of her ideas and arguments, but instead saying that she has no buisness expressing her ideas or arguments because she's not an "expert" in the areas the POTUS thinks you need to be an "expert" in in order to give thoughts. It's much like saying that a man cannot have a say or even an opinion on abortion because he's a man and it's the woman who has to have the baby. The men aren't the experts in having babies, women are! This of course is true, but the BIG IDEA isn't having babies, but whether or not ending the life of an innocent human being is justified and you don't have to be a woman to have an opinion on that subject.

#2. 1:30-2:45 shows the POTUS rattling off parts of the Old Testament Law that are not followed by the lady or anyone else that she communicates with on her talkshow. So what's the BIG IDEA? The big idea is that if you are not going to follow ALL of the OT Law then you are not obligated to consider homosexuality an abomination or follow ANY of the OT Law.  The key to understanding this idea is that only parts of the OT Law were quoted. What about "you shall not lie with an animal...neither shall a woman give herself to an animal to lie with it, it is a perversion"(Lev. 18:23) or what about "you shall not steal"..."you shall not oppress or rob your neighbor"..."you shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Lev. 19:11-18) or what about "do not profane your daughter by making her a prostitute"..."you shall treat a stranger who sojourns with you as a native, you shall love him as yourself"..."you shall have just balances, just weights..." (Lev. 19:29-36). I could go on, and on, and on, with Laws like "no murder", "no adultery", "honor your parents", et cetera. Do you think the POTUS would want to ignore these laws as well or think that these laws were unjust and ridiculous the same way he did the others?

#3. 2:46-3:01 shows the POTUS rubbing in his victory and saying that you shouldn't sit when the President stands.  So what's the BIG IDEA? The big idea is that you should show respect regardless of whether you agree or disagree with an individuals ideas and although the POTUS didn't show respect to the lady in making that point I give a hearty "Amen" to the idea that the lady should have been respectful to the POTUS instead of sitting to make a point.

So now you have a tool, "Reality", and a sign on your toolshed. If you can learn to use the Reality tool and find the BIG IDEAs then you almost have it licked. There's one more thing that I want to give you to put in your toolshed. This last thing is the most important of the 3, because it will allow you to be confident in your Reality tool and be able to see and appropriately use the BIG IDEA sign on your toolshed. 

Unfortunately it's 1am and I've got to get up in a few hours so you're going to have to wait until part 3 to find it out. You're going to want to find it out though because when you use this 3rd tool you will find that you will have the ability to be in control of any conversation at anytime that you want to be in control. You will find that there is no longer any need to be nervous about getting into a conversation. You will find that you will have confidence and the ability to have a good Reality tool. You will find that you will more easily identify BIG IDEAs. Lastly, you will find that you are able to give answers when you want to give answers and listen when you want to listen in any conversation. It is by far the most powerful of the three things that I will be sharing with you so I look forward to doing so in the near future.