That Was Awkward...part 2

In part 2 of this post my goal is to give you some tools to put in your toolshed so that when you find yourself near or immediately involved in a conversation that you have interest in and/or deeply care about you will be able to get involved instead of standing on the sideline or in the middle of the road frozen like a deer in headlights, if you are the center of attention in the conversation.

Remember that we are going to put ourselves in the shoes of the lady on the West Wing video. We are going to assume that we have some convictions about the subject at hand, in this case homosexuality, and that we have just been challenged in a way that we have no idea what to do. We are also going to assume that we have the ability to ask questions and that we care about what the other person has to say.

So, the first tool that I want to give you to put in your toolshed is "Reality". That's right, every toolbox needs a good measure of reality and they need to know exactly where it is in your toolshed. It is usually going to be hanging on the hook labeled Humility which is hung on the board known as shut your mouth and open your ears. What I mean by "Reality" is that you must have an accurate picture of what you know and don't know in your toolshed. The lady in this video thought she knew some things about the Bible and about homosexuality, but as soon as she was challenged by someone smarter than herself she quickly found out that she didn't have as firm a grasp on it as she thought. Now if you're like I use to be, and can still be sometimes, then your "Reality" tool isn't hung on the "Humility" hook and your first reaction to what happened to this lady isn't going to be thoughtful. This is a consequence of your Reality tool being hung on the Pride hook which isn't nailed in your toolshed but instead is nailed in THIS place where all ideas are thought up as quickly as possible and almost always stink!

So the first thing I want to tell you is to know yourself. If you thought you knew something, but now you know that you did so only on a surface level then don't try to pretend and be that guy from the last post. Take out your reality tool and say to yourself, "Ok, this guy just walked all over top of what I believe. He brought up some valid questions that I haven't thought of before and have no clue how to answer. If I'm going to have a conversation with this person about this subject that I care about then I am going to have to think of something other than my standard responses because he just blew them all up."

The second thing that I want to give you to put in your toolshed isn't a tool, but instead is a sign. This sign should be hanging above the doors on your toolshed and it reads, "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?" When you are engaging someone in a conversation and they are saying things like the POTUS in this video they are expressing ideas. If you can learn to identify the ideas then you will be able to take all of the pressure off of yourself and place it where it belongs, and that is on the person expressing the ideas.

For instance even though the POTUS said a lot of things in this short video you can break down everything he said into a handful of very managable ideas and here they are:

#1. If you watch the video from 0:54 through 1:29 you will find the POTUS asking the lady a series of questions about her PhD and casts a shadow on her expertise on the subject she talks about on her show, i.e. homosexuality in this case.  So what's the big idea here?  The big idea that the POTUS is pushing is that unless you have advanced degrees in the subject you are expressing an opinion on then your opinon is worthless.
The key to this idea is seeing that it does not deal with the substance, or lack thereof, of what the woman was saying and the arguments she was presenting on her talk show.  Her ideas may be terrible, but it is not attacking the validity of her ideas and arguments, but instead saying that she has no buisness expressing her ideas or arguments because she's not an "expert" in the areas the POTUS thinks you need to be an "expert" in in order to give thoughts. It's much like saying that a man cannot have a say or even an opinion on abortion because he's a man and it's the woman who has to have the baby. The men aren't the experts in having babies, women are! This of course is true, but the BIG IDEA isn't having babies, but whether or not ending the life of an innocent human being is justified and you don't have to be a woman to have an opinion on that subject.

#2. 1:30-2:45 shows the POTUS rattling off parts of the Old Testament Law that are not followed by the lady or anyone else that she communicates with on her talkshow. So what's the BIG IDEA? The big idea is that if you are not going to follow ALL of the OT Law then you are not obligated to consider homosexuality an abomination or follow ANY of the OT Law.  The key to understanding this idea is that only parts of the OT Law were quoted. What about "you shall not lie with an animal...neither shall a woman give herself to an animal to lie with it, it is a perversion"(Lev. 18:23) or what about "you shall not steal"..."you shall not oppress or rob your neighbor"..."you shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Lev. 19:11-18) or what about "do not profane your daughter by making her a prostitute"..."you shall treat a stranger who sojourns with you as a native, you shall love him as yourself"..."you shall have just balances, just weights..." (Lev. 19:29-36). I could go on, and on, and on, with Laws like "no murder", "no adultery", "honor your parents", et cetera. Do you think the POTUS would want to ignore these laws as well or think that these laws were unjust and ridiculous the same way he did the others?

#3. 2:46-3:01 shows the POTUS rubbing in his victory and saying that you shouldn't sit when the President stands.  So what's the BIG IDEA? The big idea is that you should show respect regardless of whether you agree or disagree with an individuals ideas and although the POTUS didn't show respect to the lady in making that point I give a hearty "Amen" to the idea that the lady should have been respectful to the POTUS instead of sitting to make a point.

So now you have a tool, "Reality", and a sign on your toolshed. If you can learn to use the Reality tool and find the BIG IDEAs then you almost have it licked. There's one more thing that I want to give you to put in your toolshed. This last thing is the most important of the 3, because it will allow you to be confident in your Reality tool and be able to see and appropriately use the BIG IDEA sign on your toolshed. 

Unfortunately it's 1am and I've got to get up in a few hours so you're going to have to wait until part 3 to find it out. You're going to want to find it out though because when you use this 3rd tool you will find that you will have the ability to be in control of any conversation at anytime that you want to be in control. You will find that there is no longer any need to be nervous about getting into a conversation. You will find that you will have confidence and the ability to have a good Reality tool. You will find that you will more easily identify BIG IDEAs. Lastly, you will find that you are able to give answers when you want to give answers and listen when you want to listen in any conversation. It is by far the most powerful of the three things that I will be sharing with you so I look forward to doing so in the near future.

That Was Awkward...part 1

Sometimes you will find yourself in situations where you are speechless. You express your ideas, thoughts, or convictions but the person you are talking to challenges you in a way that just runs all over top of those ideas, thoughts, or convictions. You were so confident about those things just 5 minutes earlier, but now you're not sure. They may have even talked about your ideas from an angle you never thought of before. Your mind is spinning and you just freeze because you have no idea what to say. You're still processing what the other person just said and are trying to figure out whether you even believe what you were arguing for 5 minutes ago.

THAT is a bad feeling. Trust me, that is a very bad feeling and I have experienced that feeling a few times in my life. I imagine the lady in this video had the same feeling.



Now I know this is a story from a fictional show, but if watch CNN or MSNBC when the topic is homosexuality I can almost guarentee you that you will witness this story playing out in real life because I've seen it many times. It's good to watch it though because you can learn from seeing the train wreck that occurs.

I posted this video on Facebook the other day and after being inundated with pleas to answer the challenges offered by President Bartlet I decided to blog about it. (By inundated I mean Heather Pack asked me to. :)

First you have to know how much you know about the topic. If you are ignorant the worst thing you can do is to try and fake a response by making it up or parroting ideas that have sounded good to you, but that you have never thought critically about.  Doing that is like being this guy when playing basketball.

Everyone knows he's no good as soon as he walks in the door and if they think he may be sandbagging it they know that he's not good by the time he takes two dribbles. If it's not basketball then just think about whatever it is that you are good at. When someone is pretending to be good at it or trying to pretend to know about it then you will know almost immediately that this person doesn't have a clue.

Also, you need to understand that it's not necessarily a bad thing to be ignorant. We are all ignorant, just in different subjects. It may just be that the issue has never been on your radar in a way that has challenged you as it is now and that's ok. What isn't ok is to be that guy!  Don't pretend like you know it all because so and so told you such and such back in the day. When you do that you go from being ignorant to dishonest and dumb, which is much worse. Trust me on this because I've taken this route before as well.

Not only this but you cast a shadow on your believability when you talk about other subjects that you may be more knowledgable about and may even care more about. If that isn't enough to get you to not take this approach then let me throw one more reason on the pile. If you take this approach you will cast the shadow of you bad arguments and reasoning abilities on people who are not ignorant of the subject and may have the best ideas and answers for the challenges. If you don't think that happens then watch THIS VIDEO and understand that if you do this on video then the people who will be called in to clean up your mess will probably not be advocates for your position.

If you are not ignorant on the given topic then feel free to exchange ideas, but for the sake of this post I am going to imagine that you find yourself in the same shoes as the lady in the video. You have convictions and you've even publically expressed them, but you aren't skilled at defending them or at being persuasive in presenting them in a challenging environment.

So, with that being said, and since this post is getting a little long winded, I am going to leave you to watch the videos and think about your own level of confidence, or lack thereof, if you were to find yourself in a similar situation.

In part two of this I will try to give you a couple of tools that I have acquired, from experience and men much smarter than myself, that will allow you to move through such conversations confidently, respectfully, and winsomely regardless of your level of expertise with the topic at hand.  There are only two requirements for being able to use these techniques: 1) You know how to ask questions. 2) You are willing to listen and care about what the other person has to say.

If you have those two skills then you are set. Looking forward to getting into the details with you next time.

Quick Question for My Non-Reformed Brothers & Sisters in the Lord

I have a question that I have had running through my mind today and so I thought I'd ask to see if I could get a good answer.

Is unbelief a sin?  In other words is refusing to believe the Gospel and accept salvation through Jesus Christ a sin?

Seems like the only answer to the question is "yes" and I would agree. However I think this creates a problem for most believers that I know.

Most believers that I know would say that Jesus died for every sin that has ever been, is being, or will be committed. If that is so then it seems to me that the only logical outcome is for everyone to go to Heaven, i.e. universalism, because Jesus has paid the price for every sin that everyone ever committed.

I have challenged a few people with that line of reasoning before and every single one responds with the same answer, "Yes, Jesus died for their sins, but they refused to believe and accept His offer of salvation." I have never asked the following question because I never thought of it until now.

Is refusing to believe and accept Jesus' offer of salvation a sin?  If the answer is yes then Jesus died for that sin and God has no grounds for punishing you for it since He already punished Jesus for it.

You might respond, "Yes, there is punishment for it because Jesus' payment for it was never accepted." To which I will respond, "Was that a sin for a person to never accept that payment?" If the answer is yes then Jesus paid the price for anyone's refusal to accept the payment of their sin. And now we start over.

If Jesus died for all sin at all times and unbelief and refusing to accept salvation through Christ is a sin I do not see how universalism is not true.

Looking forward to hearing the responses.